Finally, a swimming breakthrough

An article by kelly    2 Comments

I hate swimming.  This is not an exaggeration,  Somewhere along the way, I developed an irrational fear of pools mainly surrounding drains (too many urban legends of long hair getting sucked into the drain and subsequently drowning) and the deep end.  As a kid, I had many years of swim lessons, and spent summers at the pool – but I never really got over my fears.  Somehow, this was not a barrier to entry for this sport for me.  Everyone kept placating my fears with, “Just get through the swim.”  and ”It’ll click.”

With great trepidation, I forced myself to the pool every Monday and Wednesday.  Inevitably, I always suffered some version of a panic attack two or three slow laps into my workout.  Last Monday was by far the most hideous version yet.  Everyone else (the majority of the people, who didn’t break into nervous sweats at the prospect) swam a mile for time.  I was on the other end of the pool, and the coach instructed me to swim 10 laps.  I got one lap into the swim and the self-doubt crept in:

I can’t breathe.  Why am I doing this?  I can’t breath.  I am never going to be able to swim to 1.2 miles.  I can’t breathe.  I am going to drown in Lake Ponchartrain.  Why can’t I breath?  OH MY GOD I CAN’T BREATH!

At this point, I put my feet down (4 ft depth here), took my goggles and swim cap off and cried.  Like a baby.  Who couldn’t breathe.  Needless to say, but I’m going to anyway, I am horrified and embarrassed thinking of this.

Kendra (our awesome swim coach) talked me down, had me bob up in down in the water once I caught my breath and pointed out that there is no way I need as much air as I was taking in.  She reassured me that this was something I could DEFINITELY DO.  Rather than coddle me, she made me swim building laps: 2 laps, 3 laps, 4 laps, 5 laps, 6 laps, 7 laps, 8 laps and finally 10 laps.

I got out of the pool feeling a little shaky, and more than a little silly for my performance.

I swam Wednesday morning by myself, but just could not catch my rhythm.  I stopped after twenty minutes of false starts.

All day Friday, I dreaded swim practice.  I tried to find a reason to skip it: Too cold (but the pool is heated).  Maybe I should run instead ( not on the training plan).  Maybe I should visit my grandmother (can do that afterward).  So I went, reluctantly.  Kendra immediately gave me 8 laps, and then 16.  From there I actually completed a work out.  I never freaked out, was never too out of breath, never even hesitated.  I’m going to call this a breakthrough.  I found my rhythm, my speed (slooooow) and actually enjoyed it.  I never thought I’d have a good day in the pool, but perhaps all I needed to get over the hurdle was to get the major freak-out out of my system.

I am so glad to have such great support in this training.  If I were doing this alone, I would’ve gotten out of the pool on Monday, burned my swimsuit and joined a relay team.  But, with support from the Kona Fitness team, I was able to put my fear into context and not dwell upon it.  So often I forget that there is a major mental component to this.  The brain is trained to want to protect us from pain.  It tells us to quit when it gets too hard.  It convinces us that we are in danger and that we must stop at this very minute.  One of the most exciting things I’m learning in this training is to push past those mental roadblock and finish.  Traditionally, I’ve been more the cut the workout short because I’m tired type, rather than the push through and finish type.  When I’m finished this training, I hope to say I’m more often the latter.